Stage Results

Tour Preview

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

2000 TOUR DE BURG COURSE HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED 6/1/00

Harrisonburg, VA.

Team Clean vs. Team Green

Hugh Jass productions and MtnTouring.com proudly unveiled the course for the 3rd annual tour de burg this morning in front of a standing room only crowd on the steps of court square. The Tour, the only true mtn stage race in the world, will feature classic traditional routes along with some new changes for the millennium. Most notable of these changes is the traverse of the Great North Mtn, over the Cat. IX Elliot Knob. Increasing to 10 days of racing this year, the tour has truly evolved as the premier test of solid bike riders on the East Coast. Interesting faces in the crowd this morning included Norwegian Chris Scott and Italian Thomas Jenkini. Both stodgy tour veterans curious about the suffering planned for this year's event. When questioned about their participation in the Tour, Jenkini ran off after his stolen truck and Scott mumbled something about a new line of work. Promoter and super domestique Miguel Carpellini was present for the announcement despite suffering numerous debilitating injuries, already forcing him to miss many of the spring classics. It has been rumored that last year's champion, Paul Bushetti, has taken up residence in the burg and formed a new powerhouse clean team. Will the C-ville contingency continue to represent with an obvious ringer on their squad? Regardless of the gossip of the peleton there will surely be many contenders at this years event but few will commit to such a grueling race course in the heat of summer. Start Times: Due to the large number of participants the promoter will try to stage races early in the morning or late in the day. Mtn stages will be started early when possible to avoid heat. Road stages can be started late in the day pushing start times to 3 PM. Hugh Jass hopes to include more riders with a more flexible schedule. Regardless some stages will take the entire day, be prepared. For rules and regulations please contact: mtntouring@aol.com.

2000 Tour de Burg Schedule

Friday, June 30, 2000, 7:30 PM Mtn--Opening time trial on Trimble Mountain. This will be the first test for the big boys and the chance to grab the coveted leader's. Can anyone touch the scorching record of 26 minutes set by Bushetti in 1999?

Saturday, July 1 10:00 am Mtn-Dowels Draft Via Hanky Mountain will expose the rookies to some big mountain riding early on with the Bridge Hollow Braley Pond loop putting the final Blow to the racers. The highspeed singletrack downhills will leave many riders smiling for the week to come.

Sunday, July 2 10:00 am Road-Assault on Reddish Knob Via Stokesville and the backside.

Monday, July 3 8:00 am Mtn-From town up Union Springs to Flag Pole Knob followed by a Pelaton shattering downhill off of Red Diamond

Tuesday, July 4th 8:00 am Mtn-- Elliot Knob The real test is today, independence day. Will some brave soldier overcome the heat and the competition to independently dominate the tour??? The steeps, rocks, and magic of Elliot Knob will create a glorious battleground.

Wednesday, July 5th 3:00 pm Road

Thursday, July 6th 8:00 am Mtn-Circumnavigation Singletrack. Enough Said.

Friday, July 7th 8:00 am Road-Sklyine 101 No Tour would be complete without this signature road stage that has proven instrumental in races past.

Saturday, July 8th 10:00 am Mtn-

Sunday, July 9th 10:00 am Mtn-Shenandoah Mtn Trail South Its not over til you jerkemtight and the south sisters sing deep in the heart of Bathe county. No lead is safe with this stage looming in the back of riders minds.

How to Partake:

If you are interested in competing in the 2000 Tour (Team Clean vs. Team Green) all you need to do is send in your letter of intent to the officials along with your European-cycling history.

The Tour Players

Christi Lhentholo da Sticky Green Kiwi

Jerome Vimpty Frances "little Miguel"

Miguel Carpellini battered spainard

Jay Duffy Fat Jimmy's Cocky American

Jens Nielsen The Biking Viking

Thomas Jenkini Italian Pony

Mark Myracled Lieutnant Domestique - Bavaria

Chris Scott Norwegian

Kevin Keane Team Greens Doobiemestique

Nico Waitito Spanish climbing sensation from the Appalachialusain Region

Matteus Frankovich sneaky dutchmen with ties to team green

David McGowan The Red Headed Spainard

Micki Buchness russian cosmonaut

Nikolai Danielski The Russian is Coming

Carol (zee Barrel) Vaters German Power

Unofficial entries

Paul Bushetti the ever powerful Belgian, defending his 1999 title

Joel Maynario Itailian strongman from the southern region, 1999 runner up

Michael Compraro one clean ass Italian

Pauli Johaneson swedish meatball

Timothy Richardson 100% american

It is rumored that Jerimiah Bishop, Jim Potts the legend, The Brit Chris (Johnny Utah) Eatough, Sue Haywood, Susan Musante, Nancy Devore, Patrick Miller, Sue Painter, Brian Ralston, Sami Fournier, and many others have expressed interest in this tour. As of press time official intents had not been submitted.

Examples of Letters of Intent:

Carol Waters (Past Vet National and World Champion)

Dear Kindly Race Promoter: I am checking with zee team La Director Sportif, une 'oping zhat vee due not 'ave any how you say -- Konflicts -- vis any of zee Tour La Femmes in Europe durink zee dates of your stage race. I vill chek vis de otter bionic vomen on my team and lat you know as soon as possible. Carol (zee Barrel) Vaters

Nick Daniels (past Harrisonburg local and gravitational wonder)

Chris, the Norwegian Hitchhiker, Scott, I'm nervous and twitchy with anxiety. Can't wait to bat clean up and scrape your sorry ass off the road, (or find you sitting there mumbling in trailside stupor) The Russian is coming, the Russian is coming!!! From Russia with love, --Nikolai Danielski

Kevin Keane (Team Greens Doobiemestique)

Yo...I've heard there was a press release regarding this year's tour, have you forgotten about your loyal doobiemestique in NOVA? I've been graced with an endowment of skinny tires and am hoping to get in on a few legs of the action.

Dave McGowan (Holder of the #1 plate at the SM100 2 years running)

Ahhh!, You have already fallen into McGowan's trap. While his name may bring to mind images of the relatively flat Irish Republic, this rider actually hails from the Spanish peninsula (first name is pronounced, da VEED, spanish mother, irish father, AKA - the red headed Spaniard!). We all know that no climbers of significance have originated from the green island. However, the same cannot be said of Spain! McGowan likes to lull his rivals into believing that he will be a fixture in the sprinter's gruppetto once a grand tour hits the steep slopes of the Dolomites, Alpes, or Pyranhees. McGowan's physical stature also lulls his adversaries into believing that he will not be a factor in the mountains (weighing in at a rather portly 76 kg., on a 1.9 m. frame). He then pounces upon their laziness and lack of preparation, inflicting immeasurable suffering upon them as he "dances on the pedals" up the mountainside. Despite being a Spaniard, McGowan is quite popular with the tifosi, the Italian fans who mob the sides of the road during the Giro d'Italia. The italian fans have come to embrace McGowan, who is known for reciting inspirational Bible verses as he does his "dance"! European cycling history includes numerous stints during the grand tours and spring classic campaigns with the Spanish Kelme squad. Remarked teamate Fernando Escartin after his podium finish in Paris last year, "Without McGowan encouraging me up to Sestriere with his inspirational words, I never could have made it. He has been a valiant tamale during this years tour, working tirelessly and selflessly to put me on the podium. I vow that next year, I will return the favor and strive to help him earn a stage win in the tour d'Burg." Unfortunately, McGowan has never actually finished a grand tour. He is known for his fear of "vampires" (specifically of the UCI variety). The mere mention of them usually sends McGowan packing back to his home in the Pyrenees for a (mandatory) rest period.